I seem to have gone off the edge of a cliff. I had an incredibly demanding, fulfilling and enjoyable job that filled my working life (and encroached on home life too). I have now moved onto my company's long term sickness scheme which has generous benefits, but wit the effects of my disease I am not able to do most of the things I had planned to do in retirement - like woodworking for example. So I have this huge void to fill and when the fatigue finally goes and I have the motivation to do things the question is what?

Have any of you faced this predicament. How did you go about solving it?

My GP has been great - counselling is being arranged and I have some happy pills to tide me over. He tells me that many healthy people struiggle wit the edjustment and when you layer on teh last few years of illness and constant pain it is perhaps not surprising that I feel low.

Any kind of work is out of the question - even if I COULD do it the terms of the long term sickness plan preclude it.

How do YOU cope with this on a daily basis?

I have found having ra and being a mum I just adapt my jobs, if things haven't been great then don't beat yourself up over some dust. Dust will be there another day to polish and clean. Hoovering the same as dusting all depending on how you feel. It's not about keeping up with the Hycynth Bouquets!

You have to pace yourselves

My recovery from total knee replacement has been making he most of family membership we have with the national trust, beautiful gardens to break my knee in. If you can't manage that then the national trust provide wheel chairs - ring the place up to ask about mobility before you set off.

I've enjoyed walking around Bristol to find Gromits: http://www.gromitunleashed.org.uk/
It's fun, we found 34 until yesterday to a lot more! Good exercise with the added bonus for spending quality time together as a family. Also creates memories for us as a family

I make the most of going out (with my sticks) and enjoy the now.

Can't take a bath? Shower instead.
Can't chop. Use a mini chopper
Can't walk far? Get sticks/what you feel comfortable with.
Can't open tins? Buy an electric can opener
Can't park out of the way in a car park? Apply for a blue badge because I have! It is a god send for me.
Can't fiddle with buttons on quilt? Sew/iron Velcro instead
Can't mop a floor? Use clothes and a walking stick/crutches to move the cloth around

It's all about adapting to suit us better.
I go to the gym and love it......slowly but I can achieve things in my own wat

I don't take pills for moods because I'm a happy bubbly I dependant cookie

I'm back at work on a recoup plan, typing with a special mouse and chair in trying to prove that I'm capable to be at work with the help of some reasonable adaptions

Thanks for the replies everybody.

I feel a bit of a fraud moaning when I am the very lucky recipient of a generous company sickness scheme. But the reality is that toppling off the edge of the cliff from full on work to relatively empty days has made me feel very low. My motivation is low too. I think I need to deal with the depression first. I shall look for a counsellor and see how that goes.

At 61 I would have had to face this dilemma in a few years anyway, when I retire. But I had planned to do that in stages and work myself into a planned switch-over. It's the suddenness that had caught me unprepared.

Well, I have had to change the medication for depression already.

Sertraline did not suit me at all. My GP warned me that it would probably make me feel worse before it made me feel better and that would be good because it would mean that it would work well in the long run. After one week of no side effects but having felt better, week 2 saw my depression increase day by day. The mornings were worst, and by day 12 I was an emotional wreck; sobbing and shaking from head to toe.

Good old 111 service (I am in the North East and our 111 service is excellent) sorted me out, with some beta blockers to rid me of the immediate symptoms and an instruction to cease the Sertraline. That was last Saturday. On Monday i saw my GP who decided to increase the dose of the Amitryptiline that I am already on for muscle pain to a level that would be therapeutic for depression - and so far it seems to be working. Mornings no longer fill me with dread and I feel much calmer.

Let's hope this keeps up.

I'll take a look Mylo - thanks

Hi all

I absolutely love Jane's positive and exciting response of 12 August which mirrors what would have been my own reply. Thanks Jane for that it restores my belief in human nature ... positivity in all things!

So easy to get 'the glums' but there is no reason to be down, feel sorry for oneself or feel grief for what is no more. That is life, and RA is not a terminal illness. It require adaptation, a change of outlook and a sense of realism. Think how you might feel if you'd had a severe stroke to be left unable to walk, talk or use one side of your body, a diagnosis of terminal cancer, motor neurone disease or one of hundreds of other very debilitating conditions. In comparison RA is little more than a minor nuisance in life's vast wilderness. Painful? Yes!! Life limiting? No!! And, before I get shouted at for being inconsiderate and lacking sympathy I have had severe RA for over 25 years, borne at a time when the treatments were mainly steroids and anti-inflammatories, requiring surgery on several occasions and joint replacement and have run the gamut of available drugs.

I accept life from now on comes with challenges but with today's modern medicines RA is very treatable and drug induced remission much more commonplace. Concentrate on getting the RA under control and the world opens up a variety of new endeavours.

Be positive, stay positive

Lyn x

Paul

I am so sorry that you are finding your enforced retirement so hard to cope with. My Husband had to give up work with depression and anxiety about five years ago at 51 and it is such an awful disease and is so overlooked as an illness in itself.

He found it very hard in the beginning going from a long day at work to sitting around the house and having no motivation. His worst enemy is time. Now we have to keep him motivated as much as possible and he now runs our house, does the shopping, cleaning, gardening etc. He says he does not know how he ever had time to go to work. However, he is physically fit so it is possible for him to do this.

Unfortunately he cannot take anti-depressants as he had a very bad allergic reaction to them, so for the last five years he has had to battle on with no medication. He was recently given some Pregabalin for muscle pains and although he only takes a very mild dose it does seem to have helped with the depression a little.

Depression is a very hard thing for you to pull yourself out of (the worst phrase anyone can say to you is "pull yourself together"). From the experience I have had with my Husband, you need to set yourself little goals and interesting things you can do. This does not necessarily mean going out of the house but you have to keep your mind occupied with anything other than how you are feeling. Although I work full time (a necessity to keep the money coming in) I also sew, knit and read outside of work time as this keeps my mind occupied so that I do not dwell on the pain and the fact that I have to drag myself into work.

I also think the counselling will help you a lot to come to terms with what has happened to you and how your life has taken a different course to what you are expecting. Yes there is life after RA but for some of us it is a harder path to be trod. Hopefully we can help you along this path with words of encouragement and support.

Take care

Jackie
x

hi Paul,

trying to catch up with some posts,

sorry to hear you have fallen into a depression, it really is understable. i had already given up work ( well a long time ago ) when i was diagnosed, but i know from the forum lots of Members do take Anti-Depressants i think they go hand in hand with chronic conditions.

my Hubby retired last December after 45 years in a very busy job, he did callout once every 4 nights and loved his job, but as things began to change as most Companies seem to now he began to fall out of love with it and he knew the time was right for him to go with a good pension, and he didn't fancy another winter of digging the snow off the drive at 2.a.m.

i can't believe how well he has taken to his retirement, but of course he can do all the things he enjoys, so i understand how much you would have looked forward to retiring naturally.

is there a hobby you could try that doesn't require physical activity, it might not be what you want to do forever but something to use your mind, or some sort of voluntary work that would be on your terms.

when i first joined the forum i posted i had lost my Va Va Voom, that was the only way i could describe it .. bot for me the fatigue has always been the thing that got me rather than the pain.

nowadays if i get a really bad fatigue day ( which for me is often because i am a poor sleeper ) i now can think through the fatigue and get out and do what i want too, not sure if this is because i am well under control RA wise or because i know this is my lot now. i think until your spirits lift any decisions are 10 times harder. ( i am in a wheelchair for distance because of Osteo in my knee's ) but now Hubby is home it's easier for me as he pushes me.

really i have just rambled on here, but trying to say i am sure you will turn a corner soon, and hopefully some counselling will help.

best wishes,

Suzanne

Hi Everyone,

I had to leave a job which I loved most.... Although my job was pressurizing and the long hours were an advantage to me as it was a way and a reason to keep my mind off life's terrible stresses and my diagnosis of RA. I challenged it till Life would allw me and worked long hours in denial of my RA, even though at times it was difficult for me to use my arms and fingers due to pain. Wouldn't be able to the or write, but I managed somehow. Eventually.........
I had to give in 2 years ago at the age of 37 because I couldn't carry on any longer, my knees n leg joints had given in....and became paralized and life no longer gave me a choice to challenge RA. I was hospitalised for 3 months and my life has changed forever since the discharge fom hospital. I am unable to do anything at home and need carers to take care of even my smallest personal needs. I not only suffer with chronic RA but also suffer with chronic Neuorolical Disorder, Yet I believe I will one day come out fom this depressing diagnosis and will be able to take up my loving job once again. I am glad I have come across this website as It gives me encouragement and I can see I am not the only one, and now I do not need to ask myself why I am left in this situation. I was very depressive and low when I joined this site, but since reading and speaking to many people I feel more energetic and positive.
There are people out there who are in worst situations who are probably more positive and stronger then most of us. Best way of self treatment is to think positive. It's hard I know, because I am also going through this life's phase, but I believe nothing remains the same for ever, it does eventually get better. I hope to get to know you all better with time. Bye

Hi Anna

Yes, I m fairly new to this site, I joined some months ago, but due to pain and illness was not able to come online for a while. I seem to read a lot on here, but rarely post just like you...... But would like to thank you for your well wishes.... And caring thoughts...xx